


"And They Call ME Dumb!!!"

by DixieDale



Category: Clan O'Donnell - Fandom, Garrison's Gorillas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 13:50:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17582090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DixieDale/pseuds/DixieDale
Summary: A little deep thinking on Goniff's part, a little musical inspiration, and we have three scenes from an unfinished play starring Casino and Chief, with Goniff as sometimes narrator, sometimes bit player, and sometimes deus ex machina.





	"And They Call ME Dumb!!!"

**Author's Note:**

> Musical inspiration, some but not all anachronistic (it's fiction, just go with it)  
> It's A Heartache - Rod Stewart, written by Ronnie Scott/Steve Wolfe  
> Some Guys Have All The Luck - Rod Stewart, written by Jeff Fortgang  
> Walking My Baby Back Home - James Taylor, written by Roy Turk/Fred Ahlert  
> You Send Me - Rod Stewart, written by Sam Cooke  
> The Way You Look Tonight - Rod Stewart, written by Dorothy Fields/Jerome Kern  
> Bridge Over Troubled Waters - Simon and Garfunkel naturally  
> You've Got A Friend - James Taylor, written by Carol King

***  
Prelude: Deep Thinking:

Goniff was the only who saw, the only one who knew, at least for a very long time. Frankly, he'd become exasperated with the pair of them fairly early on. Now, on a lovely sunshiny day in the summer of 1944, sitting on the tiles of the roof of the Mansion, one of his favorite deep thinking spots, (yes, he did the deep-thinking bit, no matter what some people thought!), smoking a cigarette, he shared his annoyance with the grey squirrel perched on the far side of the chimney. 

He would have shared his annoyance with Meghada, but she was off on some job with her sisters, one she had told him was "just a piece of cake, just like they keep telling you guys up at HQ." The look on her face, along with the highly sarcastic tone in her voice when delivering that description, told him it was anything BUT, but worrying about it wasn't going to do any good. She, they, had things they had to do in this war, most of which were dangerous, and all they could do was try to enjoy the time they had together, try to take care of each other the best they could, and hope for the best. 

And that was partly what had him so annoyed right now. Casino and Chief were sitting in the Common Room, each in a childish sulk (though they'd each have denied that vociferously), when they could be enjoying a nice quiet little drink and conversation, or headed down to the pub, or for a walk in the woods, or heck, even off to the guest cottage at Meghada's place to enjoy a little together time. They all knew they were welcome to do that when they wanted some time to themselves, and she'd not put any restrictions on that offer - well, except for them to not bring strangers in, unless there was an emergency. But no, there they were, the pair of them, alone, even if in the same room, and it made no ruddy sense to him!

"And they call me dumb! Ruddy 'ell, both of them looking, and w'at they're looking for is right there in front of them. But do they see it? No, they even start to get a little notion, start to wake up, they back up like they're facing a ruddy 'and grenade with the pin gone! Don't make no bloody sense, squirrel!"

The squirrel cocked her head, gave him what seemed like a rather skeptical look.

"Yeah, well, I know, it took me awhile too, with 'Gaida, then later with Craig, but Casino and Chiefy, they're together most all the time! How can they just pretend it aint there, aint important? Oh, alright, so I gotta do a lot a pretending too, but as least I KNOW w'at's w'at! And it aint like I gotta be pretending EVERYWHERE, not at the Cottage; there's some times I can just let it out, let it be w'at it is." 

But he did remember, had to admit it hadn't been all that smooth sailing for him either, and had to give a rueful grin at the chattering squirrel who seemed to be reminding him of that fact.

"Yeah, I know. And I guess it's easier seeing it from the outside, but you'd've thought by now . . . And it's been a ruddy long time, squirrel! I remember the first time I saw it, I mean, right clear and all, enough I finally 'ad to admit it to myself, them edging up on fancying each other. Barely even knew my 'Gaida then, not to do more than listen to 'er songs and then share a cup of tea now and again. And you know 'ow long ago THAT was."

***  
Scene One: It's A Heartache - (Some Guys Have All The Luck)

They'd been in London, at some little bar, 'The Magpie', not high-class of course, being in the East End, but not a total dive, neither. The guys teased him that he'd chosen it for the name, "just sounds like someplace you'd end up, ya know, you and your sticky fingers??" 

Well, come to think of it, that's why he'd ventured in there years ago, got a right chuckle outta the idea, over that tavern board outside with its picture of that big bird gloating over a bowl of sparkly jewels, but now it was because he tried to steer his team mates away from places where they were likely not to be able to walk out of in one piece. 

He'd rolled his eyes skyward and told them that when they'd started to turn toward Ramsey's place, 'Candle's Out', and he'd had to put his foot down, "look, got no objection to a good bar fight once in a while, though you know the Warden's gonna be pissed if we get too bunged up, but aint much in favor of getting my throat slit, mates, nor anything worse, neither, and figure the same's true for you," and they tended to listen to his advice, neither wanting to ask him what he considered worse. Hell, he'd probably tell them, and that would probably just be a major downer, (the down and dirty streets of London's East End having been a major eye-opener to all three of his team mates, no matter how experienced they'd thought themselves before), and the evening was already headed in that direction fast. 

And that was kinda surprising, considering the booze was reasonably good for the time and the location, the crowd congenial enough as well. You would have thought there having been those girls who'd come in just after them and seemed to like the looks of the three of them sitting at that table just fine would've made their evening complete.

Yeah, it was just the three of them. Like happened most times, Actor had split from them the moment they hit London, had a high-toned female with a nice cushy bed waiting for him, "likely with silk sheets and champagne and fish eggs on crackers and everything. You know 'im." 

Goniff would have been envious if he didn't have a pretty good notion that Actor didn't have nearly as good a time as he claimed afterwards or bragged about beforehand. The look on his face when he rejoined them was full of self-satisfaction, sure, but it didn't ring quite true to the little Englishman. There was a tinge of some long-present aloneness that was perhaps similar to the tall man's aloof nature, but still different. All in all, Goniff figured it for as much of a con as most of the rest of what the Italian put out. As much of a con as most of what Goniff himself put out.

Hell, he did a lot of that himself, making the aloneness, the loneliness, look like something else entirely. Fact is, he saw how the other guys did the same, each in their own way, including the Lieutenant, and the Sergeant Major, and a host of others. Sometimes he thought loneliness was all there was, and he'd shrug and figure that was just life. But then he'd see someone without that shadow over them, and he'd know it wasn't, and he tried with all his might not to lash out at someone who had so much when everyone else had so little. Did piss him off more than a little though, when that someone had what he wanted so much, but didn't seem to appreciate what they had.

So, anyway, it had looked promising, pretty little darkhaired Lola seeming to like Chiefy just fine, and big brassy Marge looking Casino over like she was planning to have him for supper, and him looking like he thought that was a pretty fine idea. Acourse, their friend Coralee, a tall skinny giggling brunette, was acting like she was six and Goniff was a new doll she'd gotten for Christmas, for all she was the oldest of the lot. Couldn't say he much fancied that whole thing or her, but he went along, more out of interest in watching his team mates than in those plans Coralee kept whispering in his ear. He shrugged philosophically, deciding to let things ride for now, figured a few drinks might make her seem less annoying.

Well, he liked a good toss as well as the next guy, and it had been awhile, and he figured he could talk her more in a direction that held some interest to him than in what she seemed to have in mind. Wasn't like anyone else had caught his fancy, (not that he'd admit to, anyways, even to himself, except in his more honest moments, which he DID try to ration), and he'd pretty well given up on that anyway, thinking to have someone fancy him that he fancied in return. 

Well, he knew what he DID have a fancy for, would wake up dreaming of sometimes, and knew it wasn't something likely to ever head his way, and a fellow couldn't keep an empty bed forever just because of that, now could he?

His mind went back to something he'd read once, something that had made him hunger past anything, {"and wouldn't THAT just make Actor twitch! Doubt 'e thinks I know w'at a book is for, other than to crack hazelnuts with!"}. Now, he thought of that quote with more than a little wistfulness, with a good dollop of bitterness thrown in for flavor {"ol' Victor 'ugo and 'is "The greatest 'appiness in life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, in spite of ourselves."}. 

He swallowed his drink in a fast gulp, and reached out for the bottle to pour another. {"Now that'll ruddy well be the day, least for me. But those two, they ever wake up, could be different for them."}. 

Somehow, even knowing that sort of happiness wasn't in his future, finding someone he really liked and who liked him back just as much, (he was far too much a realist to even be thinking of the word 'love'), he suddenly wanted it for the two of them, Chiefy and Casino, the ones who'd become his best friends. And that shocked him, all of a sudden, for he'd not said anything, even to himself, about what he'd come to realize over the past few weeks and months, that there was something real between the two of them, something different than what was between all of them, the being team mates and friends. {"Might just be a seed, but it could grow into something special, if they'd just ruddy well wake up!"}

Now, he'd watched, two, well, now two and a half drinks in, not enough to get him careless or stupid, he'd walked these streets too long for that, just enough to let him relax a little, enough to sit back, plaster that amiable if slightly vacant look on his face, and watch those around him. That was amusing, most times, if you were in a safe enough spot to do it. The gangs that grabbed men to work the ships, they stayed away from 'The Magpie'; the owner had once been one of those who'd been grabbed, and he had real firm ideas about the whole notion, and he and his people had the guns and clubs and fists to back up that notion. With the guys around, and in one of his old watering holes, someone he knew behind the bar watching to be sure nothing got slipped into the bottle, he figured he could risk it, at least for awhile. 

Marge had insisted Casino dance with her, and the smirking safecracker had obliged, laughing, letting his hands wander a little more than he would have back at the pub in Brandonshire. Fact is, Jake would have already been over having a quiet word with him, if he'd tried such moves with Josie or Nellie. A time or two he'd looked back over at the table, at Chief and Lola, then brought his attention back to Marge when she'd whispered something into his ear and giggled. That last move, well . . . 

Goniff saw Chief's eyes get even more emotionless than they had been, and that was quite a trick. Only by the twitch of that muscle in his jaw could you have told there was anything going on inside his head. Lola had taken that moment to drift her fingers up the inside of the young man's thigh, and Goniff watched as those dark eyes turned and looked at her, acknowledging her presence at last. Whatever Lola was seeing in those eyes that made her turn that inviting smile up a couple of notches, Goniff was seeing something quite different and suppressed a groan, though of sympathy or aggravation he wouldn't have been able to say.

By the time Marge and Casino had gotten back, there was finally some expression in Chief's face, but it would have taken someone who knew him quite well to figure out that look to be what it was, a combination of self-disgust, temptation, hurt and anger. Goniff knew him just that well, was starting to wonder just how far south this whole night was likely to go. 

Goniff hoped Lola wasn't looking for hearts and flowers, cause he could see a hard, fast, slam, bam, thank you m'am in her immediate future, with Chief making a hard, fast exit outta a slammin door immediately afterwards, and not leaving a forwarding address neither. 

{"That just aint 'is style, but with Casino eggin 'im on, and 'er doing the same, blimey! Probably toss up 'is accounts in the closest alley on the way back, sorry 'e'd ever taken 'er up on 'er offer with 'im being in that kinda mood. Leastwise, that's never been his way with Josie; she'd never stand for it, and 'sides, she always calls 'im a 'sweet boy', says 'e knows w'at's w'at, enjoys 'imself rightly enough, and does well by 'er, but just a bit shy. No, Josie'd likely not recognize 'im tonight."}. 

Well, they were all showing sides they weren't used to showing, weren't they? Wasn't like Goniff to go off into a morose funk in public either. {"Must be a full moon or something."}. Of course, Casino was acting pretty much as usual - pretty much, though there was a little something off there as well, something that just didn't ring true.

Casino and Marge were laughing it up, and Casino's hands were making themselves well acquainted with Marge's features, above and below the table. Still, Goniff had seen those sideways glances Casino had given Chief, almost like they were saying "see this? Look at me. Look at us." 

{"Almost like 'e's daring 'im, some'ow. Pushing 'im. Don't know w'at's going through 'is mind. Bloody 'ell, don't know for sure w'at's going through Chiefy's mind, neither, but ME? I'd like to reach out and slap Casino on top of 'is ead till 'e can't see straight!!"}

Whatever reaction Casino was hoping for, it wasn't forthcoming, not unless he was looking to see the rapid pushing back of Chief's chair, as he stood up, tugging Lola by the wrist, not even looking at her, and him and Lola disappearing through the doorway. At the entrance, Chief had hesitated, taken one look back, straight into Casino's disbelieving eyes, tightened his jaw, turned and left, Lola yammering something about "no need to be in such a hurry, love. We've got all night, aint we?"

Casino seemed to lose his spark then, all of a sudden, dropping his hands from Marge's generous curves and reaching for the bottle, pouring himself a drink that threatened to spill over the top of the glass. It took two more of those heavy shots before he brought his attention back to the now frowning Marge, another two before Marge lost patience and insisted they leave.

Casino looked resigned, like he was off to wash the jeeps in the motor pool as part of a punishment detail, not off for a hearty tumble. With as much booze as the safecracker had in him, Goniff hoped Marge wasn't going to be disappointed, but figured she probably wouldn't be. Casino always bragged he could deliver even if he wasn't even really awake, so she'd probably get what she was after well enough. Goniff just didn't know how much Casino would get out of it, {"probably just like Chiefy said, sometimes it aint so special, more like a sneeze w'en you get dust up your nose and you can't 'old it in any more."}. 

He snickered half-heartedly, thought he should be finding the whole thing amusing. But, it wasn't that amusing, it was sad and frustrating and it made him more than a little angry. (He could feel the liquor start to take effect, delivering more honesty than he was really in the mood for, a little more honesty than the location was safe to be feeling or expressing.) Now the sadness, the frustration, the anger was joined by more than a little resentment and bitterness.

THEY were alone, just like he was, but THEY didn't HAVE to be, they could have been with each other. Oh, sure, they had someone willing to join them for a toss, would probably end up getting it off, well enough, but they were doing it out of spite, out of stupidity, that he could see well enough. And there HE was, alone, when he'd have given just about anything to have what they could have had, someone who really cared, and were just throwing that aside like it didn't matter.

Yeah, he WAS alone, nothwithstanding the giggling woman at his side. She was there, would be available if he took her up on her offer, right enough, and he most likely would, though she might be a little surprised to find he wasn't some playtoy dancing to her tune. Surprising how many came to that conclusion, how many had been proven wrong. How she'd take that, he'd just have to wait and find out; some took a change in plans well enough, others didn't much like finding out they weren't the one in charge. 

IF he decided it was worth the effort, and he was now weighing her dubious attractions against that of maybe just taking the rest of that bottle back to his room instead. Hell, half a bottle of cheap whiskey and the five sisters were a lot less trouble than he had a feeling she might end up being, probably just as satisfying if not more so. Least he'd be rid of that smell of cheap perfume and that shrill voice, be able to just roll over and go to sleep afterwards. {"Easier to image another voice, another face, someone else's touch w'en I'm alone, anyways."}

But even if he did end up in her bed, she wasn't HIS, wasn't really WITH him, wouldn't be even if they ending up doing the deed somewhere. And that's what pissed him off so much. For THOSE two, all they had to do was open their eyes, reach out and they wouldn't have to be alone anymore. 

Blimey, it pissed him off! Couldn't say it enough! Still, he figured he'd get pounded good by one or the other if he said anything to one of them, braced them on what either of the fools should be able to see without anyone giving them a hint. 

He looked at Coralee, then at the bottle, sighed, still pondering the issue. Then the tall brunette settled the question, smiled winningly, trailed her hand against him, brushed her body up against his, whispered just a few more words, and his vacant smile had disappeared, his face and eyes turned hard and cold and dangerous, not at all like the man who'd sat there seconds before. Whatever she'd been expecting, that hadn't been it, and she knew she'd just made one hell of a mistake and she pulled back, alarmed.

She'd sat there with her mouth open as he grabbed the bottle, turned toward the door, and tossed back over his shoulder, "find yourself another playpretty, lady. Aint in the market for that game." 

A fast word to the guy behind the bar led to that worthy paying special attention to Coralee, one that hopefully would keep her from dragging anyone into deeper waters than they were intending, and he was gone.

He made sure to dodge into the bar next door, up the back stairs to the fire escape, up over the rooftops, then back down to an alley nowhere close to where he'd been sitting just a bit ago, just to be on the safe side. He remembered these streets well enough, and he wasn't anxious for any trouble.

Back in his dark room, the bottle had been comforting, the five sisters eager and warm and willing, and the shadowy figure who joined him on the bed, the one who whispered sweet words in a familiar voice, the one whose arms held him so close and whose gold-brown eyes smiled into his, well . . . 

The quietly contented smile on his face as he drifted off to sleep was one of the most real ones he'd shown in a goodly amount of time. Probably the guys and the Lieutenant wouldn't have recognized it, but the owner of that voice he'd heard in his head would have. She'd seen it over the tea cups a few times, had found it more than a little pleasing herself. In fact, that smile had even shown up in a dream or two of her own.

In the morning, watching those inwardly turned faces, eyes purposefully not meeting, hearing the monosyllabic comments back and forth, he figured he'd made the best choice of the evening. {"Better off with the right person, even if they aint really there, than w'at they ended up with."}

 

***  
Scene Two: Walking My Baby Back Home - (You Send Me) (The Way You Look Tonight):

Goniff hadn't laughed so much in a long time, either while he watched the whole thing, or even afterwards when thinking about it. Him and Chiefy and Casino, at the pub, Actor having decided to spend the night tucked up with ole Will and his sonnets. They'd all had way too much beer, then Casino just had to order up a bottle and they'd all shared in that well enough. Thing was, while Goniff could, and did, drink far more than you'd think likely or reasonable for someone his size and weight, drink being the only thing that could keep the demons at bay, (well, other than his 'Gaida), Chief just wasn't used to more than a drink, maybe two at a time.

Somehow, with the laughter and the talking and the rest, it seemed the young man had lost track, and here Goniff was, staggering slightly behind the two of them, watching and hearing that song and dance routine. And it was exactly that. Well, it had started at the pub, with the general singalong. But now, he watched as the two of them worked themselves through 'Walking My Baby Back Home', sometimes leaning into each other, sometimes one of them having to catch the other as an off-balance body started to stumble. 

{"Coo, wish I 'ad one of the cameras that takes moving pictures! Would be worth a fortune, it would!"}

The final stagger by the totally inebriated younger of the two had caused Casino to grab his team mate by the waist. "Now, that's not fair! You gotta finish the song, can't leave me dancing by myself," came out as a slurred, though jovial command. Casino had overindulged himself, not enough to be belligerent, but more than enough to be totally content with himself, the night, and the company. 

It was like a movie, Goniff thought later, one of those scenes when all action just flat out stopped, him watching as the two held each other upright, staring into each other's eyes, not a sound, not a breath. Chief's eyes started to flutter shut as he leaned forward just a bit, Casino leaned in just a little, and then an owl hooted loud above them and they both jerked backwards. 

"Tired of that song, pick another," Chief slurred, moving away. 

Goniff grinned mischieviously, "try something different, then. 'Ow about 'You Send Me'?" and his grin grew wider as their voices raised, not on key but fairly close, and by the second time around, there was a waltz in the making, or was it a fox trot, or to be quite honest, a drunken stumbling somewhat in step, though not in time to what could questionably be called music. 

Once he started them on 'The Way You Look Tonight', all of them were having trouble staying on their feet, Chief and Casino from the beer and whiskey, maybe the moonlight, maybe the closeness. Goniff now, with him, it was from him laughing so hard he could hardly keep his balance - oh, well, the beer and whiskey had a lot to do with it too, of course.

Once they were at the rear entrance, he'd shushed them, somewhat reluctantly, and chivied them up to their cots, getting a glare from Actor as they stumbled over their own feet and anything else in their wavering path. 

"Just what mischief did you get into tonight?" the Italian had growled, and Goniff put on his most pious expression, not that Actor could have seen that in the dark. {"A little extra practice can't 'urt."}

"Just a little drink, a little song. Nothing 'ighbrow that you'd enjoy, Actor, but it was amusing enough to my way of thinking," he'd smirked.

 

***  
Scene Three - Bridge Over Troubled Waters; (You've Got A Friend)

The mail pouch had arrived, the letters handed out. Goniff had gotten one from his mum, another from his aunt Moll. Actor had gotten three, one smelling rich and sweet, gaining him his usual teasing about 'high-class women'. Chief had gotten a letter, which was highly uncommon, but he hadn't seemed in any hurry to open it, just tucked it into his pocket after a quick glance. Casino was the one who usually got the most, three or four at a time sometimes. 

He'd been in the Common Room with them all, laughing and joking over some questions and advice from Goniff's aunt about which Sunday services he was attending, was the minister paying enough attention to guiding him and the other young people in the congregation, had he made some nice friends yet, reminding him of all the little things an older female relative might remind someone.

"IF they was ten years old, that is! Hell, you aint figured out you need to wash behind your ears yet, dont figure you ever will," while Goniff flushed but gave a shy grin. 

"Mum and Aunt Moll, they never 'ave figured out I'm NOT ten, you know. Doubt they ever will."

"Yeah, well my mom . . ." and Casino's voice trailed off as his eyes read what was in the letter in front of him. He'd gotten up abruptly and left the room, letter still in his hand, leaving the others frowing after him, perplexed. 

First Goniff, then Chief followed after, Actor nodding at them in understanding, but staying in his chair, Chief delaying long enough to pick up a bottle and glasses. Something about that look on Casino's face just told him liquor was going to be needed. It took some doing, but they finally tracked him down to the low wall surrounding the back courtyard. 

"Ei, Casino," Goniff uttered, just that and nothing more as he perched alongside.

"Hey, Pappy," Chief added, pouring a drink and handing it over to the man sitting crosslegged on the wall. 

"Hey, guys." Not much of a reply, but they all seemed to feel it was more than enough.

Chief tipped out whiskey into the other two glasses, moved to sit on Casino's free side, and they all three sat silently for awhile. Finally, Casino let out a long sigh. 

"My cousin Joey. He's the smart one in the family, always has been. Good marks in school, never got mixed up in the family businesses. Aims to be a teacher. Mom always teased, said as smart as he was, he should be a doctor or a lawyer. Joey used to laugh, said he'd have so many of the family expecting free services, he wouldn't have time for any paying customers."

Goniff cleared his throat, "'e ever do that, be a teacher, I mean?" Somehow he knew there was real bad news coming.

Another heavy sigh, "was picking up some milk and bread at the corner store. Some wise guy tried to hold up the place, owner pulls out a gun, wise guy starts shooting, Joey's in the next aisle over, gets hit from both sides, goes down hard. Mom says they don't know if he's gonna make it; even if he does, looks like he might end up in a wheelchair. Damn it!!!"

Simultaneously a hand went to each of Casino's shoulders, squeezed their feelings without words, then Goniff picked up the bottle, poured another slosh into Chief and Casino's glass, sat the bottle on the wall. "I'll 'ead off the Warden or the Sergeant Major and anybody else for awhile," getting a nod of thanks from Chief.

When he turned back, he could see them sitting together, shoulder to shoulder. He wished he'd thought to fill his own glass before he'd walked away and left them the bottle, but he hadn't, and there was nothing to do about it now. He wasn't going to interrupt them. 

He slouched down in the doorway, keeping an eye out for anyone who might intrude, letting Chief offer whatever comfort he could. Somehow, watching them, he knew that Chief was doing a better job of it than he could, probably better than anyone else could have. Somehow, when they slid down off the wall at the approach of evening, he could tell that Chief had done about the best job anyone could have done. Together the three friends made their way in for dinner, another round of drinks, and maybe a hand or two of cards.

 

Goniff had a few other times he'd intended to explain to his new friend, but hearing Garrison yelling from down below for him to "get down here right now!", Goniff just shook his head as he started to get to his feet.

"All I can say, little squirrel, my 'Gaida, she could put together a w'ole songbook w'at with those two! And they call ME dumb!!!" as he shook his head at the whole notion. The squirrel flicked her tail, indicating her total agreement with the foolishness of humans in general, and scurried back to her nest.


End file.
